I feel like I have been having such a rough few weeks. I don't feel like I have, I have! I've been emotional. I've been sick. I've been a hot mess. I am hating my body. I look in the mirror and see this person who I don't even know. I see a big beast. I struggled with my weight for so long but it has been a very long time since I felt like this. I know I can't help it. I have to gain weight. It's normal. But, when I don't see what other people see. I don't see the "pretty". All I see is a giant body. I see unhealthy. I hate the way I look. I'm trying so hard to stay focused on the good but honestly it's hard. I feel like no one gets it. I feel like if I would tell people, they would think I was crazy. So I don't tell people. Not sure if that makes it worse or better.
It doesn't help that I am still sick and still have heartburn. I just don't feel like a human anymore.
8 weeks.
I have to survive. I will survive.
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