I never regretted buying my Doppler. It reassured me everyday, for 17 days, that K was still alive. I debated selling it now that I feel him move a lot everyday and thought about it just this morning when I got up because I saw it sitting on my nightstand.
I'm glad I didn't sell it.
This morning was the last time I remembered K moving. I had a busy day with two shoots in the morning, then shopping at Target and then the gym. It wasn't until we were driving to get my in-laws that I realized it was a while since I felt him move. Seeing as K moves more than the average bear this kind of freaked me out. I figured because we were driving in the car and I was sitting I would feel him. Nothing. We get to my in-laws and get the kids and still nothing. I drank cold water. Nothing. I started to freak out inside. I didn't let Kyle know just how scared I was. The drive home took forever. Once we got home I drank some OJ and put the dishes away. Nothing still. I drank more and laid on the couch. Nothing.
So many thoughts ran through my mind. We have already been through so much, I couldn't handle this. While Kyle was cooking dinner I snuck upstairs. I had tears in my eyes thinking I might not hear his heartbeat. I put the Doppler on my tummy and nothing. I could hear my heartbeat but I couldn't find his. After a good 3 minutes of searching I found out. The moment I heard it he started kicking the wand like mad! Pretty much the best feeling ever.
If something were wrong I don't know if I could even handle it. I am so madly in love with this baby. With my son. I can't lose it. I just can't. We have have already been through so much with him. We already thought we were going to lose him once.
Maybe I am over reacting. Maybe. Maybe I am going to be on extra high alert because of what we already been through. Either way I am not selling my Doppler until I am holding my boy in my arms.
Move please! I just want to feel you move!
8:54 PM
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