2 weeks and still waiting...

I spent the entire weekend doing nothing and it was awesome. We did our taxes and really that was the only thing we did.

It's been 2 weeks today. No news. Urgh. GIVE ME THE DAMN NEWS ALREADY! I am losing my mind! I can't believe I made it two weeks and now I have to wait longer!

Over the weekend I did some online window shopping. I found so many cute baby clothes. I would love to be able to buy some right now. I'd love to get my results and have them be perfect. I would love to have some joy. Some REAL joy. I just don't want to be sad anymore I want to enjoy something for once. I want to buy clothes. I want to design a nursery. I want to be like any other normal pregnant mom. I want to be able to talk about whats going on.

I can't even tell you how many emails, FB comments, text messages I have gotten since the news. I have completely shut myself off from social media. I haven't answered any text messages. I haven't really talked to anyone. I can't. I don't know what to say. I don't want to explain it over and over again and I have no answers. I don't want the sympathy. I don't want them it will be okays and the we are thinking about yous. I don't want it. I don't want to share anything until I have more answers. I feel like a jerk not saying anything right now. I hate ignoring everyone. I don't want anyone to get pissed at me. I just...I can't talk about it with the world right now.

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