Yesterday evening was filled with some many ups and downs. Karie had cheer practice that I really just wanted to skip. I didn't want to go and deal with people but I had to for Karie. I cried of course. How could I not? It was extra hard because there was a brand new baby there. However, I am glad I went. It was the first time have laughed since the news. Courtney really made it easier to be there which was so nice. It would have been really heard to sit there along for two hours.
When we got home Kyle and I had our talk. It went terrible at first. He made me feel terrible for being so depressed/upset/angry over it. He told me that I needed to be more positive. That by me crying so much and being so upset that is isn't good for the baby. Does he think I don't know that?! We got into an arrangement about it. I started cry-yelling at him. How could he be so insensitive?! He was emotionally attached liked I am. He wasn't the one who would have to go through any of the physical stuff if things were bad. He said he never even thought about the physical part of it. We talked forever. It went a lot better after I could get through to him and get him to understand how I was feeling. Once we laid out all our cards on the table we really were at the same place. I felt better knowing he felt the same way. I mean, I was sure he did, but it made me feel better actually hearing it from him. It was such a strange conversation to have. Talking about the chance of your child dying or having some major abnormalities. It's not a conversation I ever pictured us having about one of our children.
I feel asleep right after. I was just emotionally wrecked. I slept the entire night. I had such high hopes that today would be better but it went downhill quick when Karie woke up at 5am crying. A trip to urgent care determined that she had strep. Of course. Tomorrow is her 6th birthday and a big cheer comp at the Mall of America. She is on meds and is cleared to cheer tomorrow but she feels so crappy right now. I'm pumping her full of drugs and fluids in hopes that she feels better tomorrow. I know she'll do great in her 2 minute routine but I would love for her to enjoy her day.
Strep!
7:05 PM
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